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If you have children, then they
should be your top priority when thinking about your separation or
divorce. Indeed, the Court is primarily concerned with what is in
the best interests of the children.
Some people come to me with the thought that they need to have a lot of
parenting time so that they will minimize their child support payments.
Parenting time is only one part of the formula for determining child
support. Frankly, child support is one of the last things that I
address when helping people look at their financial settlement. As
a mediator, I want to address the parenting plan very early on in our
discussions.
A parenting plan is made up of two main parts: sharing time with
the children, and decision-making. Also, decisions need to be made about
health insurance, life insurance, and child support.
One of the best resources I have found to help parents think about, and
make good decisions about, their children, is the
UpToParents web site. If you are considering divorce, you
should definitely spend time on this web site and do all the exercises
recommended.
There are also a few articles on our
articles page on parenting
which you may find helpful.
Finally, you should do everything in your power to keep your children
from being be in the middle of the dispute with your spouse. You
should plan together how you will tell your children about your
separation and divorce, and then stick to your plan. No matter how
much you may be angry at or disappointed with your spouse, putting your
children in the middle of your dispute only harms your children more
than they may already be harmed.
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